Ratchet and Clank Legends: Frienemies
by Cortana Hansen
Summary: Nefarious is depressed, so Qwark asks him about it. And of course he brought his STILL unnamed monkey.- Takes place between Project Oblivion and The Expanse.


**Here you are, folks! A oneshot taking place between** ** _Project Oblivion_** **and** ** _The Expanse._** **Please don't forget your complementary cupcake-in-the-face! :) And as Tachyon once said, "Cupcakes are yummy!"**

 **Um yeah, Qwark still hasn't named his monkey. Yet.**

. . .

Qwark walked into Nefarious' quarters, carrying his _still_ no-name monkey. Nefarious was sitting with his back to him, in front of a console.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock?!" Nefarious shrieked irritably, whirling around in his chair to see the intruder. Make that _intruders_. His shoulders slumped when he saw who it was. "Qwark. It's you."

"Yep!" Qwark sat down on the floor, setting his monkey in his lap. "Y'know, it was a pretty good idea, waiting until we actually brought your evil... whatchamacallit to a cell before slapping him. Now he's finally in jail!"

Nefarious rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Hey, Neffy, you alright?" Qwark asked, looking at his "friend."

"Yes," Nefarious lied. "Now go away. And take that idiotic, flea-bitten squishy with you. It smells!"

"Nefarious, what's wrong?" Qwark pressed, letting his "flea-bitten squishy" explore the room. "You've been in this room all week. You've only come out to get your daily cup of oil and you don't talk to anyone. Is... is it because Elaris started dating Clank?"

"No," Nefarious replied.

"Is it because you don't have a fan base yet?"

"No."

"Then... is it because I stole that yummy Twinkie from you two weeks ago?"

"No! Get out of here, Qwark!" Nefarious stood up, frustrated at the green dimwit. "I'm getting really _angry!"_

Qwark frowned, then asked stupidly, "Is it because I peed in your flower pot?" He pointed at a flower pot in the corner.

"QWAAAAAAR-!" And the usual happened.

 _"Janice! It's terrible! Lance is... dead."_

 _"No! Nooooo! How can this be?"_

 _"He was eaten by a King Amoeboid... I am sorry."_

"As much as I like this episode..." Qwark stood up and slapped Nefarious in the face.

-RRRRRRRK!" Nefarious stood there, panting heavily. He glared at Qwark. "Why are you still here? GET OUT!"

"But Nefarious, we're worried about you!" Qwark pleaded as Nefarious grabbed him by the back of his suit and threw him out of the room. Nefarious snatched up the monkey, who was playing with a calculator, and threw him out too.

"Look, Qwark," Nefarious said, standing outside his quarters now, "I know you and the other Rangers are worried about me. But... this is something I need to deal with on my own."

Qwark stood up, slightly disheveled. "But... but I want to help," he whined.

Nefarious crossed his arms and looked at the floor. Then he sighed. "Alright." The three went back into the room. Nefarious sat down on a chair, while Qwark got back on the floor. Nefarious continued, "You keep this between us, got that?"

Qwark nodded. So did the monkey.

"You know how the Zoni told me my universe was destroyed?"

Qwark nodded again.

"I..." Nefarious rubbed the back of his neck, feeling uncomfortable. "Back in my universe, not too long ago, when I was trapped on Magnus... I was forced to team up with you, Ratchet, and Clank. I mean, the ones from my universe. At first I was planning on annihilating them when we escaped. But as time went on... I... well, I actually started liking you three. I even thought of you as friends. But I left them behind when a chance to escape arose. And then... next thing I know, I'm here. And they're... gone. And I didn't even... I don't..." He sighed and continued, "When I found out that my universe was destroyed, I felt like I failed them. I tried to drive away the pain, but it's still there! I actually _cared_ for them! Me! Dr. Nefarious! The greatest mastermind in the universe..."

Qwark looked away from Nefarious.

"Every time I look at you three," Nefarious said, his voice rising in volume, "I can't stop thinking about my leaving them there! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO GET LEFT BEHIND!"

There was a long silence between them. Not even the monkey made a noise. He merely looked back and forth between the green-clad idiot and the mad scientist.

Finally Nefarious broke the silence. "You... you can go now."

Qwark nodded, standing up. He wasn't sure what to make of any of this. As he and his monkey were about to leave, Nefarious said, "Wait. One more thing."

Qwark turned around. And Nefarious suddenly hugged him. Qwark stood there awkwardly, hesitantly returning the hug. After a second, Nefarious pushed him away.

Qwark simply stared. "What was that for?"

"Just something that was long overdue," Nefarious replied, walking back to his console. When he sat down and looked back, Qwark was gone. "Very long overdue..."

. . .

 **Whew! *wipes off sweaty forehead* I've been on a writing spree! :) That's all for today. Live long and prosper!**


End file.
